What I Learned from Skiing and Singing (and Maybe Kindergarten)

I am back!  After a long hiatus, I decided to take up my blog again.  Today's article is extracted from my year end client letter, and is relevant at any time of the year. 

Although I don’t ski any more, I do remember my days as a beginner when I tried to use every physical means to “make” the skis do what I wanted. I was not ready to trust that those expensive slats of composite material were designed to do a lot of that work for me. Once I surrendered and let those skis do their part, I could relax and enjoy myself with far less effort (and fatigue) and ski with a lot more speed and control. What helped me a lot were a number of very skillful (and patient) instructors who got me to that point; not being a natural athlete, I would never have figured this out for myself. I needed to ski down a scary hill with an instructor to build the confidence that I could actually do it (and not die in the process).

Some of you know that I sing, and a few years ago I decided that I had some vocal habits that needed remediation. So I started voice lessons – what a revelation! The human vocal apparatus is a miraculous combination of physiology and physics, and I had to learn how to relax and let the right parts do their bit (rather than “trying” so hard with everything I had). Once I got my tongue and jaw to behave themselves (among other things) I got far more volume, quality, and breath than when I tried to “make” my voice happen. This happened only with skillful guidance from a couple of really great voice teachers. An important point here is that you need an outside listener to truly hear what you are doing vocally. What you hear is completely different than what a listener hears, so you need to trust the feedback from the teacher, based on what they hear. What sounds perhaps harsh or squeaky in my head actually sounds great a few more feet in front of me! I never thought that I would be able to sing a contralto coloratura aria by Rossini (and I can). I just wanted to get a better sound and better breath control. I’m amazed by the results I’m getting, and inspired to explore even further with this new confidence and ease.

My realization from these experiences is that we all need objective outside guidance to learn and execute the techniques that will help us to develop a particular set of skills, including the art of investing wisely. And a key point is keeping it simple, doing the right thing at the right time, and becoming consistent. It’s when we “try” and “try harder”, and “do something different” that we exhaust and discourage ourselves. A teacher, coach, instructor, or advisor will get you to an actual point of accomplishment, by teaching you techniques or using techniques to move you from strain to ease. It’s not sexy, it’s all in the consistent application of these relatively simply techniques.